Finding his way back to her
by melissa122683
Summary: Lucifer has come back home...can he win Chloe back or will she refuse to open her heart again?
1. Chapter 1

Lucifer had to pause outside the precinct door, it had been 2 months since he had left. Two months since he had last seen her face. He readjusted his cuff links again and took another deep breath. He wasn't ready to see her yet, he was not sure if he could ever look at her and not want her still.

No, he couldn't go in, he turned and walked back down the street to sit on a nearby bench. He wouldn't even be back in Las Angels if it wasn't for Amenadiel. He could still remember the slight under tone of panic in Amenadiel's voice when he called him.

"Luci, we have a major problem…" Amenadiel said.

"Not my problem." Lucifer said back blankly.

"NO, Luci I am serious, I think the piece is here in Las Angels." Amenadiel said almost urgently, "and I am not the only one looking for it."

"What do you mean?" Lucifer said with slightly more interest.

"Mother…. She is so mad…Luci I have never seen her this angry. It's like she is at war with dad now. She thinks the piece will help her kill dad. I … I am mad at dad, but I can't let her kill him Luci. Help me please." Amenadiel finished softly.

Lucifer took a deep breath, his voice had a soft tremble, "I can't come back there, I …... I can't see her. I'm sorry brother." Lucifer rubbed his hand down his face.

"Luci, if mom succeeds in finding the piece and it's what we think it is…. She will use it to kill father. What will happen to earth….to HER then?" Amenadiel countered. "If mother kills father and takes over heaven she will not let her in Luci…. mother hates her, mother blames her for you leaving. Mother blames her for you refusing to talk to her…. Luci I didn't want to tell you but... I had to stop mother more than once from hurting her.

With that statement, Lucifer stood and growled into the phone, "She is trying to do what? I told mother to leave her alone."

"Lucifer just come help me find the piece so we can keep it from mother, you can tell mother to leave her alone and you never have to see her while you are here. It's a big city Luci...you don't have to see her." Amenadiel plead.

"Fine." Lucifer growled into the phone. He paused for a few seconds eyes closed before he asked softly, "How is she."

"Luci, leave it alone, if you don't want to be part of her life…. Leave her alone." Amenadiel sad gently.

"Has she… is she ok…seeing someone?" Lucifer ask softly, "IS that why you won't tell me."

Amenadiel sighed, "No Luci, she is not seeing anyone… do you want the truth?"

Lucifer closed his eyes, a tug of war at his heart. He had left because he wouldn't…. couldn't be by her and not want her. Even if his father had set it up, his heart and body called out to her and he had to leave. He wanted to know that she was happy and ok. He only ever wanted her to be happy and safe. Yet another small dark part of him wanted her to be hurting as much as he was, so he would know that she felt it to. That she had those feeling for him... that it was real. In the end, he had to know, like his own sweet exquisite torture. "How is she." He asked softly into the phone.

He heard Amenadiel sigh before saying back just as softly, "She is brave, trying so hard to smile and be happy… but she hurting so much Luci…. It's almost like she is broken. You can see the cracks in her smile." Amenadiel gave a soft chuckle, "It's like her world is dark and she is making it dark around her… it has rained every single night since she found out you left Luci. The sun doesn't come out…its Las Angels and there is no sun. I have been wondering if because she is a miracle she can project her pain out into manifestations like the rain."

Lucifer exhaled harshly, "She is hurting that much?"

"Look I already said too much, just leave it ok." Amenadiel said softy, "You need to let it go if you are not going to come back. You need to leave her alone, ok? Plus, all you are doing is torturing yourself."

Lucifer closed his eyes in pain, knowing Amenadiel was right, but she was like a sweet drug that he knew was going to be hurt but he had to have in his life, even if it was only asking about her. "Fine, I will come help you but I can't see her…. I don't know if I can walk away again, even if father did all of this…." Lucifer whispered.

Lucifer heard his brother whisper back ok and took another breath, "I will be there tomorrow."

Lucifer had been in Las Angels for just over 2 weeks and they had a lot of leads that led to nothing and the argument between Maze, Amenadiel and himself had been huge. Amenadiel and Maze had been searching for over 2 months for the missing piece and Lucifer had been helping them the last 2 weeks and they had nothing. They knew they needed help…...they needed her help. They could trust her and they knew that she would point them in the right direction based on current crimes. But Lucifer had been adamant that he would not see her. He swore he would not see her. It was only Maze and Amenadiel begging that he finally broke down to come ask her for help.

It's how he came to be sitting in front of the precinct trying to pull enough courage together to go inside. He was not ready to see her….. he was terrified of seeing her. Yet there was another part that was pulling him inside and to be honest that was the piece the scared him. He wanted her even though he knew it wasn't real. He craved her like the next breath of air. Like a moth to a flame.

Lucifer looked out into the streets and sidewalks, so many people rushing here and there with no real understanding of what was at stake. And he envied them at that moment. To know that they could love, when he could not have a real love. To know that they would continue to live and not understand anything but were still so happy.

He shook his head and looked to the sky, Amenadiel was right. It was so dark out, especially for the middle of the afternoon. It was like the sun was gone and all you could see was the grim darkness…it reflected his mood. He sat and wondered if it affected her mood also…. Or if Amenadiel was right and her mood was affecting the weather.

He leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands and sighed, he couldn't do this. He was not ready. But his head snapped up when he heard someone sit down next to him. Maze was looking at him with compassion in her eyes, his demon looking at him like at him like that was something he never thought he would see. "What?" he said softly putting his head back in his hands.

She shook her head and leaned back to look at the streets, "I can go ask her." She said back softly, "If you really can't do it, I don't want to force you. We should have never told you to do it."

Lucifer sighed and sat back, "You have been asking her for months, dropping hints without coming right out and saying it. She won't share police information with you. She did with me once, she might again."

Maze shook her head, "But at what price to you… and to her…. Lucifer, she has become my friend. I already hate lying to her about you being here. Seeing you will hurt her all over again and then she will figure out I have been lying to her and that will hurt her." Maze looked down at him finally, "Is it worth it, this piece. It's been lost for thousands of years… what if we never find it. Will it have been worth all of this…... this pain?" she asked softly.

Lucifer clenched his jaw not wanting to answer her but knowing he had to. "That piece… its dangerous and if my mother got it, she could destroy earth, destroy everything …including her. I can't risk it." He said.

Maze gave a small nod, "Ok… then you need to get up and go in. Just do it because the longer you sit here the more you will find reasons not to go in."

Lucifer looked at Maze closely, "Thank you Maze… for everything."

Maze gave him a sarcastic smile, "Don't thank me, you know how I feel. It is so stupid how much pain you are both in…THAT YOU are causing." She spat back.

"Maze don't." he said softly.

"Fine, I won't tell you to just beg her for forgiveness and love her. I will continue to watch you both rot in misery."

"MAZE." He growled, "You know why I choose to leave, why we can't be together."

Maze shook her head and stood up, "No, I know why you think you had to. That doesn't mean I think you are right.' She sighed again, "Just go in, ok."

She turned and walked away not looking back. He knew that Maze was hurting because he was and now he knew that Maze was hurting because she was hurting. Seemed like the pain could really get around easily. He stood up and just walked as fast as he could. Maze was right, the longer he waited the harder it was going to be.

He cleared the doors and was almost to her desk when he heard her in Ella's office. The sound of her voice was like drinking water after being in the desert to his being. He had to pause and just listen to it for a moment. And when she gave a soft laugh he involuntary smiled at the sound. He slowly walked over to the doorway stopping only when he could see that she had her back to the door. He drank in the site of her tall slander frame, blond ponytail pooling down the middle of her back. His heart stuttered when he heard her give another small laugh. Her words were not registering, just the sound.

He had to put a hand on the doorway to keep his balance and to help fight the pull of walking over to her and drawing her in his arms. His spell broke when he heard Ellis's sharp indrawn breath. He looked over to see Ella's eyes growing huge and her mouth opening slowly. He heard her ask Ella what was wrong before slowly turning to the door way. It was like the room was in slow motion. Like everything else stopped and faded away. All he could see was her turning until her eyes met his and then the world shattered around him.

For one small moment, he saw the joy and happiness in her eyes, then like a tidal wave it was washed over with pain and hurt and anger. He took a step forward and she took one back and the movement was like a knife to his heart. He took another step forward and again she took one back and the pain was the same. He had to stop because the pain of her being afraid of him, of her backing away from him was like when he fell from heaven. Sharp and exquisite, yet long and dull. He couldn't do that again.

So instead he looked at her to see the tear running down her cheek and slowly reached out a hand and whispered, "Chloe."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

Lucifer watched as the look in Chloe's eyes went from the pain and fear to calm hard resolve.

He had to take a breath before he tried again, "Chloe…. How are you?" he asked softly.

He watched as she narrowed her eyes at him and raised an eyebrow. She was refusing to talk until she had to, he had seen her do this before with Dan, he never expected for it to be directed at him. He gently cleared his throat. Ok maybe Ella would be happy to see him. He looked over to see her looking at him with narrowed angry eyes. So, no positivity from there, he felt like the most hated man in that moment.

He closed his and took a breath, "Chloe, can we talk?" he said softly with a half-smile.

She closed her eyes tightly wrapping her arms around her middle as if it could hold in the physical pain, as if her arms could stop the waves of feelings crashing over her. Anger, sadness, pain, the utter joy of seeing his face agine. Then the anger came back, this time like a tidal wave of white hot anger. She would not let him back in, she would not let him hurt her again. "NO." She whispered fiercely. "Anything you wanted to talk to me about is about 2 months to late."

Lucifer closed his eyes, "Please Chloe… its important. A matter of life and death."

Then it dawned on her that he was not back for her, he did not run back because he wanted to beg her to be with him. He wanted something, he was here to ask for a favor and she started to laugh. A broken manic laugh that made both the other people in the room look at her in a wondering fear. She laughed until her eyes started to bleed tears. She had to drop forward hands on her knees because she couldn't stand up.

"Chloe." Lucifer said starting to walk forward but stopped when he saw her stop laughing.

Her laugh turned into a gut-wrenching half sob that she desperately attempted to hold in, making it break half way through. When she stood back up her face was covered in tears, she had been crying while she laughed. Lucifer felt his heart stop, this was his fault, this pain she was in. All he ever wanted to do was keep her safe and loved and instead he had hurt her more than anyone else ever had.

He watched as she shook her head at him, "You…...you." she could barely get the words out because she couldn't catch her breath. "You never cared did you, for just one single moment I thought you were coming back to so sorry… that you fucking wanted ME." She ended with a soft yell. "So, fucking stupid… you came back because you wanted something from me. You want something!" She shook her head in disbelief.

Lucifer's heart shattered, he wanted to tell her that he loved her more than anything else in this world. He wanted to run over and pull her into his arms, his arms literally ached to hold her. Yet he knew that if he did that it would cause more harm than good. He clenched his jaw refusing to agree or disagree with what she as saying.

She shook her head at him softly, "What do you want Lucifer…. What is a matter of life and death?" her eyes narrowed as she wiped her face free of tears. He could see her pulling strength out and wrapping it around her like a glove. She closed her eyes for a moment and he knew that he was deciding if she was going to walk away or help him. After a moment, she looked up at him biting her lip, "Life or death… as people are dying or will." She asked softly.

And he knew in that moment her compassion and caring for others would make her help him no matter how much he had hurt her.

He looked back to Ella because he need just one moment where he was not looking at her, one moment to give his heart a break from the pain of seeing her. Ella was looking at him with narrowed eyes and a face he had never seen from her before. It was a level of anger he had never seen before from anyone… well except Chloe today. He gave her a small smile but she crossed her arms and he swore fire came out of her eyes at him for a moment. And he finally understood that he had hurt more than just Chloe. He had hurt Ella, he had probably hurt the doctor …. even Trixie. Because he had left all of them. Without a word, without a warning …and they had been his friend when he didn't have any. Hell, Dan was probably even mad…even if it was just because he had hurt Chloe.

He closed his eyes again before looking back at Chloe, it hurt just as much not to see her as it did to look at her. He cleared his throat carefully trying to figure how to word this without sounding crazy but still letting her know how important this was. He should have been doing this the last few hours but he had been more worried about seeing her, then what he was going to say. What a fucking mess.

Lucifer cleared his throat again. "Do you remember the knife a few months ago…. the one people kept killing with?" he asked.

Chloe slowly nodded her head, "The death count was way too high. Is it the knife what you are looking for? We never found it."

Lucifer shook his head, "No its worse, so much worse. This…. thing will kill even more. It will destroy people, it will take over…it's hard to explain."

Chloe bit her lip and looked to Ella who shook her head. She looked back at Lucifer, "What is missing, can you tell me what it is?"

Lucifer shook his head, "Honestly I am not sure what the piece looks like. It was my fathers but it can change what it looks like."

Chloe narrowed her eyes, "Like magic?" she asked in disbelief.

Lucifer gave a small smile, "If you would like."

"Are you just fucking with me…." Chloe shook her head, "Why would you do that?

Lucifer shook his head quickly, "No I am dead serious. This needs to be found as soon as possible." Lucifer looked at her carefully, "I would not lie to you."

Chloe gave him a dark fierce look, "You can tell me a lot of things and I will still believe you. But don't say that you never lie to me."

This time Lucifer's eyes narrowed, anger building, "I have NEVER lied to you." He growled.

Chloe gave a bark, harsh laugh, "You have lied to me." She shook her head a him when she saw him start to talk. "You said you cared, you said It was real… you don't leave important real things behind." She held up her hand and shook her head even harder, "I know this important and I believe that what you are saying is real. But do NOT tell me you have never lied."

Lucifer shook his head, they could feel the fury rolling off of him in waves. "I do not lie." He said so softly they could barely hear him.

Chloe crossed her arms, and raised one eyebrow and gave an almost sarcastic smirk, "Do you ever think that you lie to yourself Lucifer…. That maybe you can't even tell what real and what's fake. Well I don't care anymore, I don't care what you think. I don't care what you feel." She took a deep breath and covered her face with a soft half sob as the emptions beginning to pore over her.

After a moment, she looked up again, "I will help you find this and stop people from being hurt … but you, I am done with. You and I do not exist, we are …. we were over before we began. I want nothing to do with you…ever again." The last word ended in a soft sob… "We are done, I will never trust you again." She whispered.

Ella walked over to Chloe and wrapped an arm around her, Chloe gave her a quick squeeze back before looking back up at Lucifer. "I need a break, I am going to my office for a while. You can talk to Ella and start building a profile. I will be back in a while."

Lucifer felt his heart drop when she walked by him like he was not even there, like he didn't exist. But when she told him that she would never trust him again it felt like his world had imploded. How could humans take this much pain … this, this never-ending gnawing pain of loss and fear that it might actually get worse. He fell against the door frame as it hit him how damaged Chloe was… that he was…. that he made them.

It took him a moment to see Ella's face in front of his own. He slowly blinked to bring her into focus.

He watched as she shook her head at him, "I want to be mad at you, but I can see that you are barely holding on right now."

"Ella." He whispered, "I think I ruined everything." His voice catching on a soft breath.

Ella gave him a small smile, "Nothing is ruined forever…. Unless you don't try." She said softly while slipping her arm around his leading him to sit on the stool.

Lucifer shook his head in disbelief, "She can't even really look at me… she doesn't trust me." Lucifer look up at her, "She doesn't trust me." He ended brokenly.

Ella sat down facing him and gave a small soft smile, "Life is complicated and hard." She shook her head before giving him a grin. "The pain is worth the good times Lucifer, even if it feels like that pain is going to shatter you."

Lucifer shook his head back, "This is worse than when I fell, this pain is more than just physical…. It is inside. I feel like nothing in the world is right.'

Ella gave him a smile, "Everything is up that should be down and just seeing her hurts. And the thought of really losing her would kill you?" She said softly.

"Yes." He said softly. Looking at her with a broken expression.

Ella gave him a grin, "That's love sweetheart. Looks like even the Devil can love."

"Well I don't like it." He said softly.

She gave him a chuckle, "It's worth it when everything is good and right…...but you fucked up and now you have to fix it."

Lucifer shook his head, "There are other things… things you don't know about. It's not just that simple. Begging for her forgiveness and everything is right again. No. She had no choice …... in any of this."

Ella shook her head again and laughed out loud a musical sound that triggered a smile in Lucifer, "The one thing that I know without a shadow of a doubt is that Chloe has a choice in everything and NO one tells her to do anything she doesn't want to."

Lucifer looked at her, "Even if God made her into something…... do something?" He said softly.

Ella tilted her head to the side, "God does not dictate anything Lucifer…. We have free will. He might enhance a choice or put things in our path… but it's up to us to decide if we choose it…. Free will."

And in that second Lucifer felt the first real hope because maybe …. Just maybe he could have her. Yes, she was a miracle made for him. But she had free will and she choose him on her own. Then his heart splintered all over again because she used her free will to choose him and he walked away. Without a word, with nothing, just walked away and had broken her. He broke her.


	3. Chapter 3

Finding his way back to her chapter 3….

Lucifer rolled over and pulled Chloe tighter into his arms, pushing his nose into her hair and inhaling deeply.

Lucifer sighed as Chloe snugged back into his arms. He softly kissed her neck making her give a soft giggle.

"It's time to get up." He whispered into her hair tickling her side as he pulled her even closer.

"Nooooooooo." She whispered back. "I don't wanna and you can't make me." She tried to pull away to snuggle deeper into the covers.

He yanked her right back and began to tickle her even harder.

Her soft musical laughter filled the room, "Stop it, stop it!" She exclaimed loudly, laughter bouncing off the walls. "I am sleeping, you can't make me get up."

She startled him when she rolled over and climbed on top of him and started to tickle him back.

"Stop." He said breathlessly, "I'm sorry … I'll stop."

She grinned down at him, blond hair wild and flowing. The light behind her giving her a glow and his heart stopped. "I win." She said still laughing.

"Yes, you do." He said softly smiling back up at her. "And I win because I have you."

She gave him a flashing bright smile before leaning back down to kiss him sweetly.

"But you don't really have me do you." She whispered as she sat up.

Slowly the glow behind her disappeared until the room was dark. Her smile had slid off and there was a sadness filling her eyes.

Lucifer felt the panic begin to set in his bones, "Yes I do, you are right here." He said going to grab her arms but his hands slid through her like she was mist.

"No... you left me." She whispered as a tear slid down her face. "Now I am lost forever... you will never have me."

She began to fade away and Lucifer reached for her again, "No, I came back... I want you." He said brokenly.

She shook her head before she faded away completely her voice the only thing left on the air.

"It's too late." She said into the darkness that was surrounding him.

-/-

Lucifer sat up in bed covered in sweat and breathing harshly. He could still smell her scent, feel her in his arms. He could still hear her voice echoing in his room.

He put his face in his hands taking a shuttering breath, it had been 3 days since he had seen her.

She had left while he was talking to Ella telling the Captain that she felt sick. She didn't answer her calls or text and he was lost.

He had tried to go over to her house the night before but Maze had answered and refused to let him.

Instead she had pushed him out and followed closing the door behind her.

"She is really not feeling good, plus..." Maze paused.

Lucifer looked at her lost, "What?" He asked.

"She is trying to ... I don't know... to get ready to face you I guess." She said. "Give her time, she said she was going back to work tomorrow... she said she wanted to meet all of us after work to figure how to find the piece."

Lucifer nodded slowly, "Tomorrow, OK. Did she say where?"

Maze nodded, "She asked me to set it up so we all met at Lux."

Lucifer gave another slow nod, "Ok, I will let Amenideal know."

Maze gave him a soft smile, "It's gonna be ok, just give her some time ok."

Lucifer gave a head nod back, "Ok... I was gonna go see the Doc anyway... I am sure my reception with her will be less then warm also."

Maze gave him grin, "Ohh the Doc's mad, I told her you came back. Good luck."

Lucifer rolled his eyes at her, "You need to learn to mind your own bloody business."

Maze smiled and leaned against the door, "She's mad but I think if you talk to her you can get her oin your side."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, "My side?" He questioned.

Maze gave an evil smile, "Operation get Chloe back."

Lucifer choked in his own spit, "Get Chloe back?" He asked.

Maze laughed as she opened to door to slip in, "Yes, cause you left like an idiot now we have to fix your mistake." She finished and closed the door in his face.

Lucifer turned to walk away, getting Chloe back was not what he had intended when he came back. It's so far from what he had intended... but now that Maze had brought it up he could not help but wonder if it was even possible.

After talking with Ella, he still questioned if it was right but all of Ella's talk of free will and his hope's up.

Maybe his father had put her there for him, but it was her choice... her heart that had chosen him.

Maybe he could have her... love her. He laid back in the bed coving his eyes, the sweat still clinging to his body.

Maybe she had been a gift from his father. Maybe his father was trying to make amends for what had happened. But he could not stop the fear from creeping up that maybe it was too late.

Maybe his leaving had caused to much damage.

Chloe was already so hurt from others, it had taken months to get her to open up and he had never hurt her before.

This time he was the cause of her pain. It might be to late, and his dream backed up those feelings.

He signed and crawled out of bed walking to the kitchen to get a drink. He looked at the clock... 6am. Bloody hell, it was to early but he knew after that dream, sleep would not come back.

So, he jerked his head back swallowing the contents of the glass he poured in one gulp.  
He filled the cup again and slowly sat at the bar, before closing his eyes and putting his head into hands.

This entire situation was fucked up, he wasn't even 100% sure of what he wanted.  
No scratch that... his heart knew what it fucking wanted. It wanted her, hell his body knew what it wanted.

It craved her, he could still feel the impression of her body against his from the last time he held her. Like a muscle memory and it felt wrong not to have her.

It was his bloody mind that kept throwing in the doubt... that this was not real. That it was a trick.

He quickly grabbed the cup and swallowed the contents of the glass in one gulp again before throwing the glass against the wall and watching it shatter into a million pieces. For one split second he felt peace in watching something else break the way his heart had.

Then the feeling of pain and doubt came rushing back. He sighed putting his head back in his hands on the counter top.

This entire situation was fucked up.

It was the sound of the elevator ding that broke him out of his misery. His head snapped up to see the door open and a Chloe walk out.

Another fucking dream he thought to himself, what would this Chloe do to break him.

He watched as she walked from the elevator to stand in front of him across the bar. Yet he didn't say anything not wanting her to disappear again. So instead he waited to see what was going to happen. The only sound was the elevator door sliding closed quietly.

He watched her watching him, this Chloe was one of sadness and hurt. Yet he could see her resolve and strength in the way she stood. And he jumped slightly in his chair when she spoke.

"Lucifer." She said softly.

Lucifer sat back in his chair slowly, this Chloe was real. She was here in his apartment and he did not know what to say. His heart and head still fighting. So, he slowly cleared his throat.

"Chloe." He said back softly.

She crossed her hands on the bar and looked around the apartment, "Everything is back to the way it was …. Before." She said quietly, not saying before you left. It hung in the air, both knowing what she meant but refusing to say it.

Lucifer gave a slow nod, still not knowing what to say. Why had she come after 3 days of silence? What was she going to say next? He crossed his arms over his bare chest, suddenly wishing… for probably the first time in his existence he had on more than a pair of low riding pajama pants.

Chloe finally looked back at him biting her lip, "We need to talk."

Lucifer closed his eyes, waiting for her to tell him that she couldn't help him anymore. Waiting for her to walk out again. Waiting for her to take the little pieces of his heart that were left and throw them to the wind.

"I have been thinking and I will help you Lucifer. I don't want anyone to get hurt and if I can help…. If I can stop it, I will do anything." She looked away, as if the site of him was more then she could take.

"But…." She bit her lip again he watched as a tear slowly slid down her cheek. She took a deep breath and when she looked back and caught his eye, his breath caught in his chest and he waited for her to kill him. "But we need to be separate… I need separation. We can't be…... we can't … we just can't." She took another deep breath. "I need you to stay here…. on your side of town. And I will stay on mine…. When we need to work together we can do it here. I will come here."

Lucifer slowly stood up and really looked at her, on the surface she was standing up and her chin pushed out like she was ready to face the world… to face him. But he could see under all of that and she was hurting. He could see it in the small twitch of her eye. In the way she kept biting her lip and the tightening of her fingers on the counter top.

"Separate? We are partners… partners don't usually work separate." He whispered. He watched as she shook her head no.

"We were partners… WERE. Not anymore Lucifer. Never again." She said softly.

Lucifer closed his eyes, "You don't mean that. We work together Chloe, that's what we do. That's how we figure things out."

Chloe looked up at him pulling herself up to look into his eyes, "Not anymore. I will help you but then we are done Lucifer…. Forever." She took another deep breath the whispered, "After this I never want to see you again."

Lucifer sat back down hard on the chair and he knew in that instant his heart won. His heart and body won. He would never leave again, he could care less if Chloe was put there by his father. He wanted her like his next breath. It was one thing for him to walk away, to have the control of coming back. But to hear her say that she was done… that she never wanted to see him again.

NO! He could not take that. He would not survive that.

He looked back up at her, "And if I refuse to leave LA again. If I tell you I am staying here. That I want to work with you again."

She looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes, "Then I would tell you LA is a huge city, you can stay if you want. We don't hang out in the same places or with the same people."

Lucifer shook his head, "We have the same friends and I messed up but I am trying to make amends. I just had dinner with Ella and the Doctor. They are mad at me but we are working things out."

Chloe gave him a ghosting smile, "That is your choice and theirs. And you can have them as friends. We don't have to all hang out at the same time. We can still be separate."

Lucifer shook his head harder, "And Maze, she is my family and you live with her." He said with determination.

Chloe gave another sad smile, "I will move out and you can have her back also."

"You would give up a friend and your home to stay away from me?" he whispered brokenly, his world imploding each time she pushed away what she said.

Chloe gave him a small shrug.

He looked right in her eyes, "and Trixie? I talked to both Maze and the Doc and they said she missed me…." He looked down and said softly, "I miss her also." He didn't realize how much he meant that until he said it out loud. He missed the little demon almost as much as he missed Chloe. Her laugh…so pure and light. He had missed all of them so much.

He looked up at Chloe who was slowly shaking her head, "You left Lucifer, not me ... not Trixie. And you hurt us both more then you will ever know…and it's my job to protect her. I don't even want her to know that you are back. I haven't told her and I have no plans to. I want you to stay away from her."

Lucifer slowly stood and turned and walked away to look out at the city and found that he could barely breath. The city was hugged he felt like he was in a prison… a prison of his own making.

"And if I refuse what you are saying…... if try to win you back." He asked softly. "I want you Chloe… I …. I made a mistake." He turned back to look at her. She was still standing at the bar but now her arms were wrapped around her middle tightly and more tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I want you Chloe, more than my next breath. I want you…. I need you." He whispered brokenly.

Chloe shook her head softly, "It's too late." She said so softly he barely heard her. "I …. I can never trust you again."

He watched as she slowly turned and walked back to the elevator pushing the button to go down. To go away from him. And he was stuck in that spot, watching her walk away this time. When the doors slid open she stepped inside and slowly turned back to face him.

She saw him standing in front of the windows, light coming over the horizon framing him like an angel. The most beautiful she had ever seen and she knew that if she didn't walk away right now, she would give him everything and he would have the power to destroy her. He could take everything away with one word, with one look. She was already broken, she could not be lost.

She pushed the button to go down and said softly, "I will help you Lucifer, I promise…. Then we are done."

He watched as the doors closed on her and slowly stepped back against the window and then slid to the floor. She had walked away and he felt like his world was fading away into nothingness. He slid his head into his hands, breathing harsh painful breaths. He could not lose her, he couldn't.

He was so lost in his grief, in his pain that he didn't see the light behind him brighten. The warmth seep into his bones to warm his freezing body. He didn't see the bird landing on the railing behind him with a tear failing down its beak.

He would not lose her, he would fight. He slowly stood as new resolve filled his body, he would get her back and never leave again. He just needed a plan.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sooo what you are saying is that there is nothing we can really go off of right now?" Maze said crossing her arms looking irritated.

Chloe shook her head and rolled her eyes, "No Maze, that's not what I said, I said that I can only pin point it down to a five-block area."

Chloe walked over to the table in Lucifer's apartment and laid out a map. "So, Ella and I have been tracking the crime in LA for the last 3 months." She looked up at Amenadiel, "That's when you said to start right?"

Amenadiel nodded, " I figure we could start with that but it's been here longer at least 5 months from what we know. Maybe longer."

Chloe looked over at Ella who gave a nod, "Ok this is what we found the last 3 months, I will see if there is a pattern from before that tomorrow."

Chloe nodded at her, "I will check with all homicides that are unsolved for now and possibly add the solved ones if the assailants are using insanity pleas or say that it wasn't their fault…... if I add the second batch it will be a lot more. There seem to be a lot of people that like to say it wasn't their fault." She finished the last part with a glance at Lucifer.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow back, since Chloe had walked into his apartment he had been trying to get her alone to talk. That had not worked out quite yet. First, she had come with Ella and had stayed close to her all night "talking" about the case. The few times Ella had walked away she had gone over to Maze and Amenadiel to ask them questions. She was being as slippery as an eel tonight.

"Something to say detective?" Lucifer asked with a head nod.

"Nope." She said back just as quickly refusing to look up from the map. Lucifer could see her reverting back to her snarky closed off attitude. It was like when they had first met and all she wanted to do was close everyone out.

"Are you sure?" he asked back crossing his arms trying to goat her into fully engaging with him. Since she had been here tonight she had not once looked him in the eye and or said a full sentence to him. She had talked around him, through him and even indirectly at him. But she had yet to look at him and say something to him.

"Yep." She said as she turned to talk to Maze again, "Hay you said to focus on homicides and we noticed especially in the last 2 months a cluster of crimes in this area." Chloe said pointing to a specific area of downtown.

Everyone turned to look down at the map. "This area seems to be a hot spot. The murders have tripled and so have attacks. Several people that have been interviewed in the last 2 months said that they didn't remember what happened. They didn't remember anything leading up to the attacks or their parts in it."

Chloe turned to look at Amenadiel, "This is where I would start your search, what you are looking for could be in this 5-block area." She said softly.

Lucifer grinned at her back, fine if she wanted a challenge he would give her a challenge.

"Detective this area over here." Lucifer said pointing to the red dots on map and forcing her to turn to look at him. "This is the area that has been hit with the most crime in the last two months?"

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him, "That is what I just said." She said through gritted teeth.

Lucifer nodded again, "So the best course is to have ... what do you call it... ahhh yes, feet on the ground in this area? People there asking questions and looking at what's going on, right?"

Chloe gave a slow, small nod weary of where this was leading, "Yes if this was a police investigation that is what we would do... add more patrols. Make people see us."

Lucifer gave her a quick flashing grin before turning to give a full sneaky grin to Maze and Amenadiel. "Alright then, that is what we shall do. Maze since you work nights you take the day shifts there. Amenadiel since you do nothing you can go with Maze." When Amenadiel started to speak out Lucifer gave him a glare and Maze slapped his stomach hard enough to make his breath rush out.

"Sure Lucifer we can do that." Maze said quickly knowing what Lucifer was up to. Amenadiel glared back at both of them.

"Walk around, ask questions? Do you really think after months of searching… that wondering around will help us find the piece?" Amenadiel said crossing his arms in a huff.

Lucifer turned back to Chloe who was watching them with narrowed eyes, "Well the detective did say that helps. Puts the pressure on, plus if the piece is actually in that area we might catch them using it." Lucifer said with a flashing smile, "Right Detective?"

Chloe slowly crossed her arms over her chest, "Yesss." She said slowly. She knew Lucifer was up to something, the question was what.

Lucifer grinned back at her, "Perfect, then the detective and I can look in the evening after she gets off work."

Lucifer watched as the emotions crossed over Chloe's face. He could see her clenching her jaw so hard her teeth were threatening crack. "You are forgetting that I work all day. I really don't want to spend all night looking for things. I can help on the weekends." She growled out.

"Tsk, tsk detective. You promised to help …. are you backing out of your word." Lucifer said with a smile knowing he was backing her into a corner. A corner where he had control. Where he could slowly wear her down to see that he wasn't leaving again. The first step in his plan was to get her to spend as much time with him as he possibly could. To wear her walls down until all of her anger and sadness and pain were gone.

"I have a child I need to take care of Lucifer." She said back with a small grin thinking she had won.

"Ahhhhh yes, Trixie." Lucifer said with another grin, wagging his finger at her, "The thing is detective. I talked to Maze and she told me that Detective Douche took little Trixie on a little vacation." Lucifer said drawing out the words Detective Douche in only the way he could.

Chloe's eyes slammed over to Maze, who was trying to look everywhere but the table. "Ohhh Maze told you that, did she." Chloe growled.

Maze finally looked at her with guilty eyes, "Sorry it slipped." She glared over at Lucifer, "Big mouth." She whispered.

Chloe looked back at Lucifer who gave her a quick grin and shrug, "Sorry, but not sorry. So really detective you have no excuse. A couple of hours after work helping me out just like promised."

He watched as Chloe clenched her jaw again with closed eyes. Lucifer knew he was riding a very thin line. Pushed too far and she would run, don't push enough and everything would be lost.

Chloe looked over at Amenadiel then gave a grin of triumph, "Or Lucifer and Maze could look during the day and Amenadiel and I could look at night." She said quickly, "Honestly that's a bad part of town and Amenadiel looks a lot scarier then you Lucifer."

Amenadiel opened his mouth to say that was fine but before a single word could pass Maze grab a chuck of his skin on his back. He jumped and turned to Maze but she had a look of pure innocence on her face. "What the Hell."

"What?" She said, looking a little too innocent for Chloe's liking.

Before Amenadiel could say another word Lucifer jumped in. "Well you see... that could work but..."Lucifer stalled trying to figure the excuse.

His beloved Maze jumped in quickly, "Amenadiel promised to help the Doc out at her office during the evening... she is moving everything around when she has to patients. So, he has to help me during the day."

And in that second Lucifer loved Maze more than he had ever loved her before. "Yes, Right." He clapped and turned back to Chloe, "So you see, it's just you and I. Plus really, do you not trust me to keep you safe?" Lucifer asked with a frown.

Chloe looked over at him with guilt, "I didn't say that, I just said that Amenadiel is scarier looking."

Maze whispered under her breath to Amenadiel, "She obviously has never seen Lucifer's other face."

Amenadiel coughed and gave a snicker, "Right, he makes me look like a baby."

"What?" Chloe said with a snap.

"Nothing." They both said with a quick and guilty look.

Ella looked at everyone, "Ummm, not to be needy but what am I supposed be doing? No Patrol for me?"

Before Chloe could open her mouth Lucifer jump back in, "Of course love, I was gonna have you use your evenings after work to track new crimes. Let us know where we need to be looking each day or night. You of course are by far the most efficient at computers and tracking. No better lady for the job." Lucifer said with the big flashy grin making sure her day and night were to full to interfere.

Lucifer watched as Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He knew he was pushing her against everything she wanted. She swore she wasn't going to work directly with him and now she was being pushed into that very direction.

Maze, Amenadiel and Ella also watched her waiting to see what she would do. They could tell the moment she made her mind up and they all gave quick flashing smiles at each other before schooling their faces back to blank stares.

"Fine. We can start tomorrow Lucifer. Around 6 o'clock." Chloe said with a look of defeat. For one split second Lucifer almost backed down and let her go. Then he remembered the plan again, spend time with her. The only way that was going to happen was if he forced her. She would never just willingly seek him out right now.

Lucifer gave her a small smile, "Perfect would you like me to pick you up at the precinct?"

Lucifer watched as Chloe shook her head no, "I will come here and pick you up in my car. That way I can drop you off when I'm done and go home."

That was not part of Lucifer's plan, he wanted to be able to pick her up. Maybe take her to dinner before looking for the price. Then take her home and tell her good night. However, he could see by Chloe's face not to push his luck. "That works for me." He said softly.

"Great, well it's been a long day and I am ready to go home." Chloe said starting to gather up the maps. She turned to look at Ella who was talking to Maze quietly by the elevator doors. "Ella." She called over trying to ignore Lucifer who was bending over trying helping her.

Ella turned back to Chloe, "Sup lady?" She asked with a grin.

"I am ready to go home, how about you?" Chloe asked Ella with pleading eyes. Little did Chloe know, over her head Lucifer was shaking his head back-and-forth no. Ella's eyes went back-and-forth trying to figure out who she should support. The pinch in her back from Maze made her decision clear. "Actually, Maze just invited me to see some of her gear down stairs. You know how I love the new equipment." Ella said with a grimace and smile. "Do you mind waiting a bit?"

Chloe watched as Maze hit the elevator button and closed her eyes in defeat, "It's OK I'll just call an Uber." She said going to pick up her phone.

"No you will not." Lucifer's said sharply, "I will happily take you home."

Chloe looked over at Lucifer, "Thanks but I'm fine." She said softly.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her, "So you hate me so much you can't even except a ride from me." He asked softly.

Chloe closed her eyes as she heard the elevator doors close, signaling that they were now alone in the apartment again. Just this morning she had swore she would not be alone with him... that she was going to do this case without falling back into a partnership. 12 hours later and she was already alone with him and had to be his partner starting tomorrow night.

"Look Lucifer, I told you, I can't do this with you. I can't just pick up where we left off. I can't just be your partner. I need space." She said stiffly putting everything back into her bag. She finally looked up at him and his heart broke. Her eyes were full of pain and uncertainty.

Lucifer slowly slid his hands into his pockets and clenched his jaw, "We can't make this better if you can't even be in the same space as me." He said softly.

He watched as Chloe shook her head back, "You just are not getting it…... I don't want to make this better…. I don't want anything to do with you." She said standing tall trying to use a frim voice.

Lucifer turned and walked back over to the window again, looking out over the night sky. After a minute her turned back, "I have never lied to you before…... So, I'm not gonna lie to you now…... I have no intentions of letting you go." He said softly hands clenched in his pockets.

Chloe's eyes grew until they took over her face, "What do you mean?" She said softly.

Lucifer walked back to her until he was standing toe to toe. Then he looked her right in the eyes so there could be no confusion. "I am not giving you up without a fight…... I…... I made a mistake, I ran when I should've stayed. But I refuse to believe that everything has been lost." He said softly, his breath gently brushing her face.

He watched as tears filled her eyes, "I know that you're scared right now... I know that I hurt you." He said hoarsely his hand going up to cup her cheek "I know that I lost your trust…. Now…... Now I'm gonna do everything in my power to get it back."

He watched she slowly closed her eyes and leaned into his hand trying to absorb his strength. "It's too late." She whispered brokenly

Lucifer reached his other hand up to the back of her neck, cradling it gently. "I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that." He whispered back fiercely.

Chloe took a deep breath eyes still closed, afraid that if she opened them everything would change. "No, it's too late." She said with a harsh whisper that broke at the end.

Slowly, Lucifer pulled her into his arms. So slowly it felt like it took a lifetime. Afraid to go to quickly and have her jump or run away. Only when she was clasped tightly against his chest did he whisper into her ear, "I swear to you I will earn your forgiveness... and your trust again... I know that I don't deserve it, I know that I don't deserve you. But I'm a selfish bloody bastard and I'm not giving you up."

Chloe's arms slowly crept up around his waist and when she circled her arms around him, clenching him close. He felt the first bit of peace that he had felt in months. For that one moment, having her in his arms, his world was at peace. His heart was full and it was whole.

When the elevator ding sounded, it was like a gunshot in the apartment. Chloe jumped out of his arms looking everywhere but at him. She grabbed her bag and practically ran to the opening doors pushing past Ella and Maze.

"Chloe." Lucifer called quickly walking after her. But she was too fast, in the elevator and pushing the door close button before he could reach her.

"Bloody fucking hell." He growled as he slammed his hand against the closed door. The moment of peace gone and his heart broken again. She had not said one thing back to him. She had not agreed to anything he said.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the elevator, "I was so close. So, close to breaking her walls down. I could feel it." He stood straight and started pushing the elevator door button again. Slamming it with his impatience, "Open you fucking bloody bastard ... OPEN." He growled at the door like the inanimate object was purposely standing in his way to getting back to Chloe.

Maze slowly walked over to lean against the pillar looking at Lucifer trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say. Finally, she looked him in the eyes, "Maybe you should let her go for the night." She said softly.

Lucifer turned to her with narrowed eyes, "I just had her in my arms. I was so close to having her walls come down. Now you want me to let her go?" He said with a harsh whisper.

Maze took a breath, "Not forever Lucifer. Just for tonight. You know Chloe, if you push her too far you will break her. Give her the night to think about what you said. Give her tonight and tomorrow to prepare herself to spend the evening with you."

Lucifer turned around to lean against the elevator that still had not opened he saw Ella standing there. "You….and what do you think?" he asked her harshly.

Ella walked over and slid her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly and startling him simultaneously. "I think that you've been through a lot today. Whatever happened this morning when she saw you. Whatever happened while we were gone just now. I think you're hurting." Ella pulled back and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I also think Chloe has been through a lot. The last two months, you coming back. Whatever happened this morning and just now. You need to give her time to process."

Ella took a full step back, "I'm going to go downstairs, I'm going to take her home. I'll text you and let you know that she's safe. And I will talk to her tomorrow during work. I'll tell her she needs to give you another chance. I'll work on it. Just be patience, ok."

Lucifer gave a small painful chuckle, "Patience seems to be the one virtue that I did not get."

Ella gave a loud laugh, "Bullshit, you are missing a lot of virtues. It's a good thing we love you anyway." She walked over hit the down button and Lucifer cursed out loud when it slid right open for her.

"Of course, it just opens now." He said with a growl.

"Patience." She said as the door slid closed, "It is going to take time." Her voice cut off as the doors closed.

Lucifer walked back over to the window again, trying to look down to see Chloe the stories below, "How long do I have to wait…... I know that I just started begging for forgiveness but you know me. I want what I want, when I want it." He questioned softly. "And I want this right now."

Maze walked over to look down with him, "I think… the question is…... how long are you willing to wait?" she asked as she saw Chloe, the smallest speck on the street.

Lucifer slowly reached out and touched the glass, trying to reach through and touch her. His heart stopped for moment when she got into the car and disappeared. "Forever." He whispered huskily, "I would wait for her forever."


	5. Chapter 5

Finding his way back to her…. Chapter 5-

Lucifer walked back and forth, pacing in front of the piano in the club. He was nervous. He was never nervous, in all of his existence he could never remember being nervous. Yet here he was waiting for a girl. Waiting to try and impress and win a girl.

Where the bloody hell was she anyway? He looked down at his watch for the hundredth time. 7:03 pm. She said she was going to be there at 6:30.

Fuck she was probably backing out, she was probably never going to come back after what he said last night. He scared her away with all of the demanding and declarations.

He glanced at the door again mid-turn to see Maze walk through. He stopped with narrowed eyes, "Where is the detective." He growled.

Maze rolled her eyes at him, "Oh relax. She got caught up at the precinct. She asked me to tell you that she will be a little late but she will be here."

Lucifer walked over to sit at the piano, "Why do I feel like this, like my heart is being crushed and my breath is coming out all fast?" he said leaning down elbows to knees, head in hands.

Maze laughed out loud as she walked behind the bar to pore them drinks, "That my friend is called love…. And anxiety."

She walked over and handed him a glass, "Here for courage."

Lucifer gave a sharp hollow laugh, "If only my existential metabolism would actually let me feel the liquid courage."

Maze tipped her glass in a salute, "Amen brother."

Lucifer gave her a sharp look, "Not funny." He said with a frown.

Maze smirked at him, "I thought it was."

"Fuck Maze." He said after swallowing the glass in one drink, "How am I supposed to get her to see that I am not going anywhere."

Maze leaned on the piano, "I think the only way is to just stay. Not leave again. Try to be there as much as you can. And be patient because she is hurting."

She shook her head at him, "After you left she was in a really bad place, it's not going to be better in one day or even one week. It is going to take time."

Lucifer looked over at her, "But I want it better now."

Maze raised an eyebrow at him, "Well then you should not have left I guess. Actions have consequences Lucifer. Now you have to deal with them."

Lucifer paused his smart reply back to look over at the door that was opening. Chloe walked in to see the two at the piano.

"What's going on?" She asked as she walked over.

"Nothing." Maze said tipping her glass at her, "Just watching the man child until you could come and take care of him." She swallowed the rest of her drink before standing up, "Now that you are here I will pass him on to you. I have to go to work; these leather pants don't buy themselves."

Chloe narrowed her eyes at Maze, "What you need to do is pay rent. You are two months behind."

Maze narrowed her eyes at her, "I am... are you sure?"

Chloe through her hands up in the air, "Yes Maze I am sure since I had to pay it all the last two times."

"Why didn't you say something I don't know. I gave you money when we moved in." Maze said with a frown.

"Yes, but the funny thing about bills is that they come up every month." Chloe said with a growl.

"Well don't get your panties in a bunch, just let me know how much I owe you. You have to tell me these things lady." Maze said with a shrug.

"Maze you ow two months of rent and utilities." Chloe said with narrowed eyes.

"Fine, fine fine…. Just give me an amount for the next six months and I will pay you all at once." Maze said poring another drink.

Chloe narrowed her eyes, "If you have that much money laying around why did you get a roommate?"

Maze gave another shrug, "I don't like to live alone… I am used to being around people. Plus, I like your kid." Maze swallowed her drink and slammed the cup down, "Well I am off, take care of this kid." She said pointing the thumb at Lucifer who was sitting there watching the exchange silently.

Lucifer stood up with a growl, "I am not a kid, nor do I need to be watched."

"By, remember what I said." Maze said as she walked out of the door leaving Chloe and Lucifer alone together.

Lucifer turned to the detective with a grin, "Shall we be off then?"

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him, "What did she mean? What did she say to you?"

Lucifer gave smile, "Advice on how to win you back."

Chloe crossed her arms over her chest, "I thought we talked about this already. There will be no wining back."

Lucifer flashed her a smile as he placed his hand on her back to lead her out of the front door. "You did my dear, but I also told you that I was not going to listen to you. So, Maze gave me some advice on how to win you back."

Chloe walked around the car to get in the driver's side bit paused to lean against the hood, "Oh yea, and what was her advice?" she asked with a frown.

Lucifer took the same stance leaning on the hood and with a flashy grin said, "Persistence and patients… be there every time you turn around so you can see that I mean to stay this time." He stood back and opened the car door to get in, "Well…. shall we."

Chloe watched as he slid in the car and she took a deep breath, this was not going to be easy. At least he was saying things that frustrated her. That way she could be mad and not sad. Yep, she was going to go with anger. She counted to ten in her head reaching for the door handle.

Her anger flared as Lucifer opened his door and called out, "Well detective, are you getting in or not?"

Chloe counted to 10 again in her head before she got into the car.

-/-

Chloe dumped a pile of paper into his lap as they drove towards the five-block area they were going to be looking at. "So I talked to Maze and she said that they looked at the first 2 outer blocks but found nothing. So, I figured that we would look at the next two blocks. That way we can be going through each section. There were a few more crimes in that area today that Ella added to the pile. Why don't you look to see if we missed anything, or if you see something that Ella and I missed." Chloe kept her eyes on the road and didn't look at him once.

Lucifer set the papers down in his lap, "Nothing to say about what I said?" He asked with a frown. "It's not like you to let things go so easily."

This time she did glance at him before looking back to the road, "I am ignoring it. I already told you, that you and I are over. That there is no you and I. I am helping you so people will stay safe then we are done. Sweet and simple." She said looking straight ahead, fingers tight on the wheel.

Lucifer gave a small frown back, "NO not sweet or simple because I refuse to agree with that. We are not done Chloe we just need to move past what happened and the only way to do that is to talk about it… at least that is what the doctor said when I asked her."

Lucifer slammed forward into his seat when Chloe hit the brakes, "You have two options Lucifer. Drop it and work on this case with me. Or keep talking and I drop you off here and I go home. You choose." Chloe said looking forward the entire time, refusing to look at him.

Lucifer clenched at his jaw, "Fine, for now it will just be about the case. But this is not over Chloe. Can you even look at me?" He growled.

Chloe looked over at him, "I can look at you fine, I just don't need to… tell you to leave this subject alone. Now are you ready to go look?"

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her, "Fine."

Chloe narrowed her eyes back, "Fine."

Lucifer crossed his arms, "FINE."

Chloe rolled her eyes, "You are so childish."

Lucifer, "And you are so closed off."

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him, "Well I wasn't always like this, you made your bed and now you have to sleep in it." She turned and started driving again.

"Now please look through the files I gave you." She said tightly.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her profile, "Fine."

The car was silent the rest of the drive with Lucifer looking through the new information and Chloe refusing to engage with him. When they pulled up to one of the first store Chloe had put on the list Lucifer was still reading.

"Detective look at this." He said pulling one of the arrest sheets out. "This man said that the man that attacked him said he felt like he had no choice. That if he didn't something bad was going to happen. "He handed her the sheet, "I think we need to start here, this just happened today."

Chloe took the paper and began to read the information, "This address is one street over, lets walk there and see if we can get any more information along the way." She said getting out of the car. "So this piece makes the person feel like they have to hurt people? Is it like that knife we found before."

Lucifer shook his head as they began to walk down the street, "No, the knife made a person want to hurt those around them and it created like a blood haze.,…. It used emotions they already felt would help direct them, they would and could attack anyone. Like in the yoga studio…... The piece is different, it may not nessasiry push a person to hurt another. It may push a person towards there deepest darkest desire. So, if you hate someone, you want to hurt them." Lucifer said pointing to the paper. "But if a person LOVES another it may push them to open up, talk to the other person when they might have not done that before."

"So, the knife is bad and the piece is good?" Chloe questioned.

"No, not necessarily." Lucifer said shaking his head, his arms bouncing around as he talked. "It helps you with your deepest darkest desire, and desires are tricky. There is a thin line between love and hate. So, if it pushed someone to talk to another because they loved them and that person rejected them…. The love can turn to hate and anger. Pushing them to hurt another. It's like a love spell, not real. And can often cause more harm than good. But the piece can also taking something small and multiply it in to big."

Chloe shook her head, "I am still not sure if I believe all of this, it seems so farfetched."

Lucifer looked over at her with a grin, "The world is bigger than you know with more going on than ever before. I am not even 100% sure of what this piece is capable of. Where I come from, we have heard of it but we've never directly dealt with it. So, we are working off information that is more rumor then knowledge. Also, this is called the piece because it is a literal piece of something else, so only a fraction of the power."

Chloe stopped for a moment, "So what you are saying is that people are causing this much pain and suffering for a single piece of this. Put together would be even worse?"

Lucifer paused his steps to look back, "Exactly."

Chloe began to walk again, "I am still not sure how much I believe. I do believe that people want this thing and will fight for it. But the item actually making people hurt other people I am not so sure of."

Lucifer shrugged his shoulders, "You may believe what you wish as long as you are helping me."

They came to the door of the Mexican restaurant, "This is it. The altercation was between two servers."

Chloe and Lucifer walked through the door to see a dark and dingy room filled with large men covered in tattoos. The room turned quiet when they saw Chloe and Lucifer in the doorway.

"Not sure this would be a great place to eat, looks rather filthy, doesn't it?" Lucifer said as he leaned over to whisper into her ear.

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him and whispered back, "Shut up, will you." She smiled at the lady who came up to them, "Hi we were wondering if we could talk to the wait staff about the incident that happened this morning?"

"I am the boss here and we already talked to the police about what happened. We told them it was a private matter and no one was going to press charges." She said back nastily.

Chloe gave a quick smile, "I understand that, and we are not here to get anyone in trouble, in fact we think something else provoked the incident. So we are trying to get as much information as possible."

"Look bitch I already told you, we don't want you here and we are not talking to you." The lady snarled.

Lucifer took a step forward, "Hello beautiful, how are you today." He gave her a grin as he leaned closer. After she gave him a smile he moved in for the kill, "What is it you desire, more than anything else?"

Chloe rolled her eyes as the lady also leaned in with a dazed smile, "To get away from this place, I hate working here. I just want to start fresh somewhere." She leaned closer, "I would do anything to be able to tell everyone here to fuck off." She blinked a few times then stood back in shook. "I mean I love it here."

Lucifer gave her a grin, "We are looking for new waitress in my club down town, we pay very well. I am sure much more than you are paid here. Help us and I can help you."

The lady looked at him through narrow eyes, "How do I know that you are telling the truth?"

Lucifer stood up looking offended, "I never lie. Ever, thank you."

She looked at him for a moment, "Fine, you can come to the back kitchen and talk to the staff there. Not out here. Follow me."

Lucifer leaned over to Chloe with a grin, "See." He whispered, "We make great partners. You find the place and I get us in."

Chloe rolled her eyes and pushed him away slightly, "We are not partners, I am just helping you out right now."

Lucifer leaned over to say something else, but Chloe just pushed him away with her shoulder and walked ahead to enter the kitchen first.

Lucifer frowned at her back and followed her into the kitchen, she was not opening up at all.

As Lucifer entered the kitchen he saw 4 men cooking and arguing in quick Spanish. The one closest to them was black and blue and moving like each step was the hardest thing he had ever done. Lucifer and Chloe shared a look before walking over to him.

"Hello my friend, may I ask who gave you the colorful bruises?" Lucifer said with a grin shoving his hands into his pockets.

The guy looked around before shaking his head in a quick no. Chloe looked over at him and gave a small soft smile, "Look we are not trying to get you in trouble, we think that whoever did this to you might not have been themselves. We are just trying to help." She said pointing at his face.

The man looked over at the hostess agine who gave him a small nod, "My name is Juan, my friend did this." He said pointing to his face.

Chloe gave him a nod, "That's why you didn't want to press charges."

Juan gave a small nod at her, "He didn't mean it, we were just joking around while we were walking to work. I pushed him and he just went crazy tackled me to the ground. He was screaming at me ….. but it didn't make any sense. I didn't understand what he was saying, the guys here pulled him off of me and dragged him into the restaurant. They had to call an ambulance for me. I woke up in the hospital."

Chloe gave him a nod and small smile, "Can you tell me where it happened? Exactly? We think maybe a chemical made him go a little crazy" Chloe looked over at Lucifer who gave her smile. "So if we can find right where he started to attack you we might be able to figure what caused it."

Juan looked around before he nodded, "You are not trying to find my friend?"

Chloe gave him another small smile, "I just want to help. If you say this friend would never normally hurt you I believe you. I just want to find out where it happened, that way I can try to find the cause."

Juan looked over at Lucifer who also gave him a small smile and nod, "It happened just one block from here. The corner of 4th street and palm street." He said softly.

Chloe nodded and handed him one of her cards, "Thank you so much, I hope that you feel better soon. If you remember anything else please call me and let me know."

Chloe and Lucifer looked at each other quickly and said goodbye before walking out the back door.

They started walking in the direction that Juan gave them not saying a word. Chloe refusing to look at him and Lucifer only having eyes for her. After a little bit Chloe sighed and looked at Lucifer, "Do you think that the piece is in that area?"

Lucifer gave a small grin, his patients had one out and she had spoken first, "I think that it might have been there at some point. Now sure if it is there now. It would be bloody good luck if it was." He said softly.

She gave a small nod as they continued to walk, "I hope it's there."

"To get away from me?" Lucifer asked with a small frown.

Chloe looked up startled, "No, well that would be a great addition. But more because then no more people will get hurt. There have been so many in the last few months to end up in the hospital or dead."

Lucifer looked over at her, "I wonder how after everything you have been through that you still are so good at heart?"

Chloe gave a harsh laugh, "Ohh I am not good. I thought of many, many horrible things about you. You died many different ways in my dreams." She said with a grin.

Lucifer gave a barking laugh that echoed in the ally way, "Well that it good to know. I will watch my neck around you."

Chloe gave him a smirk, "Your neck was fine, it was other appendages that didn't survive my dreams."

Lucifer stopped to give her a look, "Well that is not very sporting my dear. And not very nice. I am quite offended right now." But his stern tone was broken by a laugh that made her grin up at him.

Chloe stopped to look at him tilting her head to the side just a little, "But despite all of that, all you did… I still missed you…. Missed this." She whispered, smile sliding into a frown.

Lucifer went to reach for her hand to tell her he missed her to but a voice intruded him and halted all thoughts.

"Well aren't you two cozy?" sneered Charlotte.

Lucifer sucked in a breath and turned to face his mother, Chloe on the other hand crossed her arms and gave a glare.

"How not nice to see you." Lucifer said in a clipped voice, "I thought you understood I wanted nothing to do with you anymore."

Charlotte looked at Chloe with a nasty glare, "Looks like you brought the trash out to play again."

Lucifer stepped in front of Chloe before she could attack Charlotte, "Watch your mouth, she is more then you will ever be. Now why are you here?" Lucifer growled.

"Why for the same reason you are, I will take the piece and I am going home… then she will never exist." Charlotte gave a grin, "Quite frankly she has worn out her welcome."

Chloe looked to Lucifer, "What is she talking about?"

Lucifer shook his head, "They are the ramblings of a crazy old…. very old lady." He said to mess with his mother.

Charlotte raised an eyebrow, "Still haven't told her the truth yet…SON." She emphasized the last word.

Lucifer clenched his jaw, "I have not lied to her."

Charlotte gave a throaty chuckle, "I lie by omission is still a lie. You don't tell her the full truth…. And I don't think you ever will." Charlotte turned to walkaway still laughing, "It was here and now it's gone, so I will leave you two to figure out all …" she waved her hand her back to them, "your mess."

Chloe turned to Lucifer, "You are still lying to me?" Her voice soft, but Lucifer was not sure if it was soft in hurt or anger…. or a mixture of both.

"NO." He said firmly, "I have told you the truth about everything, but you still don't believe all of it…." he trailed of and shoved his hands in his pockets jaw clenching. "I don't push you or show you to make you believe so she calls it lying. But I have always told you the entire truth about everything." He said softly

Chloe looked at him with narrowed eyes and crossed arms, "So what don't I believe that you are telling the truth about…. And why did she call you son."

Lucifer tilted his head down, "I …... please let's not do this, not now." He asked softly.

"Lucifer tell me the truth… now." She said firmly.

"Fine." He whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Finding his way back to her chapter 6-

Lucifer and Chloe walked back into his apartment in silence. After Charlotte had walked away the two had stood there looking at each other, both waiting for the other to speak. It was Lucifer who had broken first taking a deep breath. "Come on, let's go back to my apartment and we can talk."

Chloe gave a nod and followed him back towards her car still not talking, trying to understand what was going on. By the time, they made it back and up the elevator the silence between then was palpable, it felt like there was a static in the air thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Lucifer gave her a glance and nodded towards the bar. He walked behind the it and grabbed two glasses and a whiskey bottle and set them gently on the counter. Chloe followed and sat down across from him watching him with weary eyes.

Chloe watched him pour them each a glass and push one towards her. "Lucifer what is going on?" Chloe said softly, "I can see it in your eyes. What are you worried about? What was Charlotte talking about tonight?"

Lucifer took a breath and a gulp of whiskey and poured another glass, "I have never lied to you Chloe, I swear …. But I never pushed one main truth. I tell you all the time but…" He took a deep shuddering breath and a quick barking sour laugh "I am scared for you to actually believe me."

Chloe looked at him for a moment, "Why are you scared for me to believe?" She asked softly.

Lucifer looked everywhere but at her, "Because you might be afraid of me…. Then you might not want to be around me anymore." She watched as his hands clenched on the bar top over and over again.

Chloe bit her lip and really watched him…... really, really looked at him for the first time since he got back. And for the she saw his fear and his pain. Maybe she wasn't the only one that had been hurting. Maybe he really did make a mistake when he left…... his fear sending him running. He would not have been the first one to run from fear, she had been guilty of that once or twice.

She felt his pain and wanted to make feel her support, so she took a breath and reached over to grab his hand, his head swung around to look at her in surprise the relief. She squeezed his hand and he gave her a soft smile and squeezed back.

"Lucifer is this thing that you are about to tell me…. is it the reason that you left?" she asked softly.

Lucifer looked into her eyes for a moment and Chloe could see the emotion rolling and pitching there. He looked away his jaw clenching, after a moment he closed his eyes and took another shuddering breath. "Yes and no." he whispered.

Chloe looked at him, "You are still scared … are you scared of me?" she asked him.

He shook his head no but still did not look at her, "No…...I would never be afraid of you…. only that you will run away and never come back."

Chloe tilted her head at him, "What if I said I swear not to run?"

Lucifer gave a harsh laugh while shaking his head, "I would tell you not to make promises that you can't keep." He poured another drink and tilted it down his throat. Liquid courage.

Chloe looked at him for a few moments before grabbing her drink and swallowing it in one gulp, "Well I will promise I won't run Lucifer. More than anything I want to know why you left. If this can help explain why you left I need to know. I thought you left because of me." She said standing up and walking around to grab his hand. He looked down at her, uncertainty in his eyes. She gave him a smile and then pulled him over to the couch to sit facing her. When she looked at his face again she could see the disbelief on his face.

"You silly silly girl." He whispered his hand reached up to cup her cheek, "I left because of what I found out my father did." His hand slid off her face turning to face forward. Slowly he leaned forward on to his elbows, the weight on the world on her shoulders, "I left in fear…. I left because I didn't think that you could really care about me."

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise then anger, "Well that is nice…. that you felt like that and decided what I felt. Maybe you should have talked to me." She said with a growl. Pushing him in the shoulder surprising him at her sudden violence.

But her anger left as fast as it came when he looked over at her and said, "You are right, I shouldn't have assumed . I made a mistake."

Chloe sighed deeply and gently touched his arm to pull him towards her again, "Tell me what's going on Lucifer …. talk to me.""

Lucifer closed his eyes, "You promise …... no matter what I show you, no matter what I tell you …you won't run?"

Chloe pulled his hand over to her lap, "Are you a serial killer or a child kidnapper." She said with a small smile.

When his head whipped around and he shouted NO in a startled voice, she gave a bigger grin. "So, it can't be that bad."

Lucifer gave her a half smile back, "You might wish I was a serial killer after what I tell you."

Lucifer took a breath and took a hold of both of her hands, "Just remember who I am ok, who I am when I am around you. The man who helps you find killers, eats your special sandwiches…. The man who cares about you and would never ever hurt you… ok." He said softly

Chloe could see the fear in his face so she clenched his hands tighter, "Ok …... Lucifer just tell me… I am not going anywhere."

Lucifer clenched his jaw tightly for a few moments before breaking the silence, "Do you remember what I told you the first day that we met …. about where I come from?"

Chloe gave a grin, "You mean your tale about coming from hell."

Lucifer gave her a frown, "Yes…. the thing is Chloe, I wasn't lying to you."

Chloe gave a frown and tried to pull her hands out of his but he held tightly, "Lucifer please be serious."

Lucifer shook his head, "Listen Chloe, this is why she said I was lying to you. Because I never make you believe…so please just listen to me." He said with a shake of his head, "Please just really listen and then I will show you."

Chloe could see the desperation and frustration in his voice so she slowly nodded her head, "Ok listening only right now …..." She said slowly.

Lucifer took a deep breath, holding her hands tighter, "First I am going to tell you what happened, and why I left …... then I will show you, because you will never believe me otherwise…... I just never pushed it because I always worried that you would hate me…. or fear me then I would lose you. So, I let you think it was a joke every time I said it." he sighed a deep breath, "I AM the devil Chloe, I fell from heaven a long time ago… Think about everything that has happened between us in the last few years… think about my ability to get people to tell me what their deepest desires are."

Chloe held her breath and thought about the scars on his back and it was like he was reading her mind when he whispered, "The scars from my back…. when I asked to see your back. It is all connected."

He leaned in almost tilting his head into their conjoined hands and he looked down, "When my father cast me out… I hated him, I hated where I went…... Yet I endured it for thousands of years before I decide that I was not going to stay there anymore. That I was not going to be forced to stay in hell any longer. So, I came here, it seemed fitting…. A place of sin." He gave a humorless laugh, "And everything was going fine until I met you.

"Me?" Chloe whispered trying to follow along, trying to make sense of what he was saying. But he could hear her confusion and the uncertainty in her voice.

Lucifer looked up and into her eyes, "Yes you…. you made me begin to feel things…things I have never felt before, things that I never thought I would feel… I wanted to be a better man when I was around you, you made me want to help others … you also made me vulnerable." His eyes looking into hers, trying to will her to understand how important she was.

"Emotionally?" Chloe whispered.

"Yes." Lucifer said softly, "But also literally…. when I am around you, I can be hurt. I can die and go back to hell."

Chloe closed her eyes, hands tightening on his, "That night in the warehouse…... you were shot…I saw it." She said trying to piece it together but still not wanting to believe.

"Yes, I went to hell…. My father brought me back to collect someone that had escaped." He said watching her process everything.

Chloe looked up at him, "If this is all true…." she whispered so softly he could barely hear her, "If this is true… you went there knowing that you could die…. You went into that warehouse knowing you could be hurt because of me…. Knowing you would be sent back to hell…. why?"

Lucifer let go of one of her hands to cup her cheek, "Isn't it obvious, I care about you…more than anyone else in this world. I would do anything for you…. I can't imagine you not being in this world." He looked at her trying to force her to understand what he was saying, trying to get her to understand how much she meant to him.

She shook her head, "I don't understand then… why? …why did you leave, after all of that, after I told you that I cared back? That I wanted to give us a chance. Why did you leave me here?" her voice broke.

Lucifer frowned, "Because I found out why I am vulnerable around you, why you are immune to my power."

"Why?" she said looking into his eyes, "What is wrong with me?" she questioned softly.

"Nothing!" Lucifer said eye wide in disbelief, he could see the damage he caused when he left. She still believed that she was the problem. "There is nothing wrong with you Chloe… I…... I found out that my brother was sent down to your mother when she was trying to have a child and couldn't conceive… that after he blessed her she had a child 9 months later…" he took a breath, "You are that child Chloe, my father… you are one of his miracles. That is why I left."

Chloe pulled her hands out of his and stood in a rush, "So let me get this straight…if I am to believe what you are saying. You are the devil, your father is God…..." she paused and took another breath pacing back and forth, "You have the power to pull peoples desires out of them, except for me because your father made me a miracle and whenever you are around me you can die?" she shook her head in a harsh hysterical laugh, "No wonder you ran from me…I am horrible to be around you."

She was still pacing back and forth, "If I am going to believe what you are saying…. which is a HUGE IF… How does Charlotte now what's going one with you?" she said stopping in front of him hands on her hips, eyes wide and a little too big for her face.

Lucifer grabbed her hands and pulled her back down on the couch, "No listen… first I didn't leave because of you, I don't care if I am vulnerable around you…... I love being around you…" he shook his head and smiled at her, "Being by you is the best part of my day. You make me think and work at being better, you bring light to my existence…. I left because I found out that you were made by my father, I left because I thought that you were made as a way to manipulate me."

Chloe startled back her face showing surprise, "That is what you were asking me that day…. if I knew…. You kept asking me if I knew, I didn't understand then…. Then I forgot with everything that happened. You were asking me if I knew…... that is why you asked to see my back that night." She said eyes closed remembering.

"Yes." He said softly, "Then you were dying and I lost all care if he sent you, all that mattered was making sure you were ok. Making sure you would live. It was after you were better that I had to leave before I couldn't anymore." His eyes closed as if in pain.

"What do you mean before you couldn't?" she asked gently.

"It came to a point that I didn't care if you were sent to manipulate me, I missed you so much Chloe…it was like all the light had left my world again and I was back in hell…... but this time it was hell on earth. When they called me asking with help for the piece, it was an excuse for them….and Heaven help me but I came back because I couldn't stay away anymore …I told them and myself that it was just to help, but it was just an excuse." He brushed his fingers on her cheek, "I came back and the instant I saw you I was lost… nothing mattered and Ella… Ella in her amazing smart mind, she reminded me of something."

"What." Chloe whispered.

"You are human… and all humans have free will…. So even if my father made you …... you had the right to hate me, love me or not care about me at all. If you cared it was because you chose to, not because you were forced to." He said with a smile, "That's when I decided that I was going to try and win you back, that I was going to do everything in my power to get you to forgive me."

"Oh…...ok." Chloe said still trying to processes everything that was being said, "Charlotte?" she questioned again.

Lucifer gave a grimace, "So now to challenge you a little more… do you remember when I told you my father sent me back because someone had escaped?" he watched her give a slow nod, "It was my mother that escaped…. Charlotte is my mother."

Chloe started to laugh at him until she realized that he was being serious, "Your mother?" she said, "Wow, what did she do to get a seat in hell?"

"The same thing that I did, have a voice against my father…. She hated humans, wanted them to all be banished from existence. She hates how much my father's loves them… so she was sent to hell where she could not hurt any." He said softly.

Chloe looked at Lucifer eyes wild, "Do you know how crazy you sound, do you know how utterly crazy?... I can't. …. And how crazy would I be to believe you" she said trailing off, "Lucifer while I agree that some of the things that I have seen and heard can make sense by what you are saying…. it's completely crazy!" she was shaking her head, eyes wide.

"I know, that's why I have to show you." He said softly, "Promise me, swear to me…that you won't run away… that you will remember who I am…. Who I have been to you." He begged her hands tightening around her's again in desperation.

"Lucifer." She said softly, "What are you are going to do?"

"Prove it, but first you have to promise me you won't run." He begged her.

She looked into his eyes and saw the desperation and complete and utter fear and her heart broke for him. How long had this been weighing on him, how long had this fear been consuming him. She closed her eyes for a moment and his hands tightened around hers painfully, when she opened her eyes back up she could see that his features were now twisted in fear like his eyes and it broke her too. "Yes." She whispered, "I swear I will not run, I am not going anywhere until we talk this out ok…nothing you show me will make me hate you."

"Maybe not hate…but fear me." He said so low she barley heard him, "You will fear me and I do not want that."

Chloe held his hands back tightly, "I will not fear you, you saved me twice…you saved Trixie. I know you would never hurt me…... show me." She said in a strong voice knowing he needed to her say that and in a sure voice.

Lucifer closed his eyes and leaned his head down into her hands, "I am scared." He confessed brokenly.

Chloe leaned down to lay her head on his, "I'm not." She kissed his hair, "Please show me what you need to."

She felt his hands tighten again and then he took a deep shuddering breath, she lifted her head and waited for him to follow. Slowly it was like time had stopped until his face was directly in front of her's, eyes tightly closed. So, she reached up to cup his cheeks, "Trust me Lucifer…. Please." She begged him gently.

Then his eyes slowly opened and she saw a black gaze with a fire burning in their depths and she froze. What was this… how was he doing it. Her breath caught in her throat hands still cupping his cheeks. Her eyes looked deep into his looking for the brown eyes she had fallen in love with but they were gone. "How…" her voice broke so she had to take a breath, "How are you doing that."

"I told you Chloe, I told you who I am." He said back to her softly, hands reaching out to hold her hips. "Even with this you don't believe me. I am going to show you more…but you can't be scared though." He didn't wait for her to answer him back, slowly his skin began to melt under her fingers and she was faced with burnt skin and muscles and for a moment her heart stopped. Her breath coming out is harsh puffs, her eyes becoming comically wide.

"Ummmmm…... Lucifer, you skin is gone." She said sharply, breath trembling, "You seem to have burnt it off"

"Chloe its ok, it still me…." He said softly.

She continued to cup his cheeks and stare into his deep black eyes not moving, barely breathing.

"Chloe, are you ok." He asked heart racing holding onto her hips tightly in case she got up to run away.

But she just kept looking into his eyes not moving, staring like she was lost in them.

"Please Chloe, say something." He begged her, his fear becoming more and more overwhelming.

Her voice broke the silence in the apartment like thunder, "Lucifer." She said firmly, her eyes still staring into his.

"What?" he asked gently. "What is it?"

She blinked a few times coming out of the spell she was under, "I think you are the devil." She said matter a factly.


End file.
